I just can't.

I realise, I just can't let go of you, baby.
I made that promise, you know I meant it.
I'm so sorry for the previous post, my sadness, or whatever, just took over and everything came pouring out.
I can't do without you, baby. You were once my everything, and you still are, I guess.
I love you. F&E, babe.

Goodbye.

I guess its over.
You were just a beautiful illusion, like a mirage in the desert, and where refraction comes in.
I guess I was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Promises, meant to be broken.
Love, there's always pain.
Memories & Dreams, to be shattered.
Tears, to be shed.

YOU , many people don't like you , & I fell for you. You told me, you felt this relationship was going to last. You told me, you've never felt this way for a guy before. You said, you wanted me to be your last guy in your life. You told me, you wanted to believe in forever, no matter how stupid. 220109, 05:56am, remember? Best present? Those awesome, wonderful memories. You talk to me, when he's dao-ing you, and not caring a hoot. You talk to me, I listen to you. I try to cheer you up, I don't know if I did, but I really tried. You get my hopes up so high, then, yes, you punctured them, and I fell flat on my face. When he dao-ed you, you talked to me, and said so much. When he talks to you, you just like fling me aside, give me , this, :/ I feel like a toy, you know that. I feel, like, I'm going crazy over you, until I can't take it sometimes. I feel like, I'm on a unstoppable roller-coaster ride. But, now, I guess. Its time to, put on the brakes, and get off the ride. Baby, its finally time, I forgot you. Its finally time, to say, I've let go.
Goodbye.
By the time, you read till here, you're probably fuming like some volcano ready to explode. You're certainly going to dao me, like you did before, when I made you angry. I'm sorry.
But. I don't know, even though, I've decided to let go, the feeling still lingers.

Sorry for the emo post.
Post about today later. When Matthew sends me th pictures. (:

I need some painkillers.

Okay. Today's school was super boring.
Damn school man.
I hate it, I feel like just sleeping now, and never waking up, & facing all the pain, all the stupid illusions.
You gave me hope, then you burst that bubble. Just as the cracks, were going t heal, then it forms again. Why, babe, why?
Its just that way, and has always been. One moment, you say something, then you change your mind.
I love you so so so much, can you just understand?
Doesn't matter anymore.
I wanted this t last, but, I guess, no, it won't, not anymore.
WHY . That's the question that's going t be hanging on my mouth, and never be answered.
I guess the patch's off. & yes, everybody, I'm going t remain single, but still loving her, no matter what.

Brendan, Alex, if you're reading this, you'd better not suan me, if not, you'll get a straight punch. I'm serious.

What can I do.

220109, 05:56am. (:

Ahaha, didn't go school today.
Woke up in the morning, had stomachache. Could bear w it one, but, I chose not to go loh. Slept till around 9.
Mom brought me to doctor, she said she doesn't want write letter. Doctor, checked. Said gastric, and. He knew I didn't eat lunch yesterday. I was like, WTH. How he know.
Went for breakfast after collecting medicine.
Reached home, ate medicine, went t sleep.
Mom bought lunch at around 12 plus, after eating, went t sleep again. Hahaa, I know I'm super lazy.
Now have to complete my compre & summary, & the long overdue science ws. Damn. Hope there wasn't much homework given today.
Oh, and not going to school today also means smth, - NO TRAINING. :D
Ah, super bored, I'm stopping for now. (:

I'm waiting for you,

with open arms.

DETACH,DETACH,DETACH.

Hello readers, (:
Hmm.
Top Four Results.
Chelsea 0 - 1 Tottenham
Manchester United 0 - 2 Fulham
Arsenal 3 - 1 Newcastle
Liverpool 5 - 0 Aston Villa

Chelsea, say byebye to your title bid. (: Sorry, but Guus Hiddink, you arrived too late. Great manager though.
Manchester United, after 4 - 1 loss at the hands of my beloved Liverpool, have you become so demoralised? Seeing red thrice in two games? Too much isn't it? I'm sorry to say, but Sir Alex Ferguson, is becoming old. Senile Dementia, as the newspapers say. Not going elaborate about that. Cristiano Ronaldo , at this point of time , I don't think he deserves the Ballon 'd Or , or smth. Been kept quiet for very long now. Rooney? Jarryl Chan, described him as mad bulldog. What more is there to say? Van der Sar, 1311 minutes w/o conceding a goal, but what is happening in recent weeks?
Arsenal, finishing strong. Newcastle brushed aside. Liverpool helped you destroy Aston Villa kay. You all better destroy Chelsea & Manchester United. But, not Liverpool. Allies , yes? :D Hahhaaha.
Liverpool , what else is there to say . 13 goals, in 3 games. Past Real Madrid, Manchester United, Aston Villa. Steven Gerrard, blistering form since the triumph against Real Madrid. Scoring freely, rampant, I would say. Hat-trick today morning. We've now, scored the most goals in the EPL , superior goal difference to Manchester United now. Next game against Fulham, Liverpool will show Manchester United the way to win. Manchester United against Villa, will it be 3 times losing in a row? Hahaha, okay, enough. (: May the best team win.

Okay, don't want blog about today. Lazy to. & now I have to shower.
Still have Chinese letter-writing, Science ws, & Maths homework. D:
Bye, readers.
Post tmrw, probably. (:

Adeleee, i love you,

You silly kuku.

Come back fastfast,

<3

Hais, getting more and more lazy to post.
Had training today. 8 x 100 slope, then back t school. Sibei sian. 320m, then rest awhile, then 80m, 60m x 2, 40m, and 20m. All with like very little rest in between, running after just 5-10 secs after finishing. ):
Hmm. After training, went t Subway with Bryan Koh. Ate then went home.
Reached home around 4.
BORING.

Adele, I loveeee youuuu.

I can feel it in my veins,

You're finally coming back,

To me.

& this time, I'm not about to,

Let you go,

AGAIN . (:

i still love you.

Okay,
Yesterday training was super tiring.
13x100 slope first.
Went back school, saw Mr Yong, then I was like, Mr Yong, you look fat. LOL . Damned funny la. Then he was like you come here you come here. Then, I, no no no, you very handsome, very slim.
I had t train with LiangYuh, cause I had to get my stamina. Wlao eh, 4 x 300m, start first one, then had to jog until the seventh min, then eight min start again. Same thing, after next round. D: He's damn fast, and fit, I was like lagging behind like some idiot.
Nevermind, fastforward. Ended at 7.
Hmm, slept at 1.

AH, FUCK MY PHONE, little bit knock also turn off, when it drops on the floor, it doesn't. Wth.

Going bowling tmrw. Playing soccer later, maybe, hopefully.

Kay, bye.

Baby, let go,

& grab my hand.

Cheer Up, Baby. :D

Heyheyhey READERS. (:

Alex & Gordon came to my house yesterday.
Slacked in my room, played Alex's iPhone, psp-ed together, and googled idiotic stuff, like Gordon's full name.
After much persuasion, and convincing, and turning off my laptop when I was on the phone, Alex managed to get us moving, to play soccer.
Soccer was a blast I tell you. Damn fun. Except some small Malay guy, and his friends. He's damn @#$%^&* . I scold him until like, crazy. Like, fuck you la. Fucking bitch. All that. Think his soccer very zai. When he playing, w/o the ball, run, also can fall down, wth. What a fucking loser. Can't even get the ball, and when he gets near it, it hits his face. If Gordon & Alex hadn't asked me relax, I think I'd have punched him right in the face, and kicked his balls, if he has, that is. Kay, enough about that.
Hmm. Came back to my house around 6:10. Transferred psp games to Gordon, and he sent me Ben10, and now I'm addicted to it. LOL.
Forgot what time they went home.

Gah, have training later, come on, RAIN RAIN RAIN.

Cheer up, babe. I know you love him tons, and loads. But if he doesn't want it, its not worth it. He just ignores you, w/o saying anything at all. At least he should tell you what he wants right. I don't think he treats you like a girlfriend, more like a toy. TayWeiRon, you better get things sorted out with her, & you better fucking don't break her heart. You don't want her, just tell her. Why are you hiding your feelings, why are you ignoring her.

Babe, cheer up. Don't be emo anymore, (:

Manchester United SUCKS.

Liverpool thrashed Manchester United, THRASHED.
4 - 1 , read the final score , with Manchester United fans mostly vacating their seats, before the end of the match.
Gordon, Brendan, Joshua, IN YOUR FACE.
Alex Ferguson , master tactician ? *Ahem. Triple Subsitution ? Pure Retard.
4 goals past Real Madrid in midweek, 4 goals past Manchester United yesterday. 3 from Gerrard, 2 from Torres, 2 from Dossena, 1 from Aurelio. What's next.
Arsenal, 4 - 0. Congratulations. Arshavin, 2 goals. :D
Okay, enough of football.

Went to grandma house yesterday to stay.
Was updated on scores by Kuan Hoe, Shan Herng. Thanks.
Slept at around 11, cause was like tired. Idk why, these few days like sleep damn early.
Hmm.
After breakfast, psp-ed a while.
Forgot already la, fast forward till around 2. Went to sleep. Until 5. Lazy, I know.
Ate dinner at 6 plus.
Helped mom with the chores, cause grandma couldn't do them.
Went home around 8 smth.
I'm going there to stay again tmrw, & bringing my grandma see doctor on Tuesday.
So, I won't be posting till Tuesday night.
Bye. (:

I'm looking at this wall,

Repeating Girl, I love you.

Nothing much about today.
Boring shit la.
Got report books, failed Chinese.
All the passes are there alrd, then must have the fail there. D: Stupid Chinese.
Hmm.
Lazy blog already la.
I feel like sleeping, although its damn early.
Nevermind, I'll go do something else.

Changed my ways for you, cause I love you, I really do, and I still do.

Come back here right now, to be by my side. (:

Hmms, today was fun, actually.
Double Chinese, we actually watched movie know. Haha. But we needed to stop, cause art teacher want us to attend her lesson.
Recess, did MW. Finished 30 smth questions, with Matthew helping with about 10 questions, thanks.
Math, learnt graphs, I don't think I understand a single shit.
Okay, skip to English, had the project presented, Darryl's one was super stupid/soft/long/boring.
PW , Miss Tan din come again, Miss Fernandez took over. But we were like super slack, cause she had her own group. We played phone, & I psp-ed for a while. :x
After school, went Yishun street soccer court. LOL, damned freaking hot there, so played half-naked. Hahahaha.
But, there was damn funnnnnnnnnn ! ROCKS TOTALLY , better than Bishan's one, certainly.
Started raining at around 5:25. Ran over to under the blocks, went to buy drinks, then went to Alex's void deck.
They played, while I sat down there.
6:15, we left. Cab-ed to YCK MRT with Brendan they all.
Took 72 from there, planned to get off before TPE there, & take 53. But in the end, got off at Hougang there, and took 109. It took like 20 plus mins la, damn.
Reached home 7:30.

I realise, things can never be taken for granted.

Especially, love.

School, nothing much. Except during Malay. The teacher was like busy with some of the students making something. Then we were like making damn lot noise. & smsing openly.

Went for training, kind of less tiring then other trainings.
After training, saw Oliver, back from his drama training.
Hmm. Jing Wei's dad drove me home, thanks uncle.
Reached home, ate, showered.
My life's boring I know.
Hmm, playing soccer tmrw , yay. (:

我还爱着你，回来好吗？

Babeee, its been 2 weeks, & I still haven't forgotten you.

Hms.
Monday, don't want t blog about it, except Alex bought his Tiempo.

Today, Carpe Diem took damn long, cause we had some inter-class public speaking competition or smth. Wasted like more than 3/4 of Chinese , :D & I flunked it, 46/100. ;x Science, teached about lenses. Boring, I don't understand. D&T, slacked. (: English, I was falling asleep, like I was thinking about other things, my mind was drifting, then the teacher voice like so far awayyyyyyy , like seashell or smth. :x Then suddenly I damn awake, :x Then, there was this name in the book we were going through, Mui Mui, then everyone started saying Bryan Mui LOL. Then she, yeahs, talked off the topic. Almost fell asleep again, but didn't. History, quite slack I guess.
After schooooooool, went t play soccer with Sec 3s. :D Stopped at 3.20 , went to J8 with Alex, Brendan, Kaixiang. Went to RoyalSportingHouse. Wlao, the person scare me say don't have white Tiempo alrd la . D: Luckily Alex was there, he told the person he bought yesterday, still have stocks what. Lucky he go check sia, hahahaa. Bought Size 9 , actually 79, but discount, 59.20. :D
Went to Macs eat after that, then went home, cause my mom didn't allow me to play soccer. D:
Maths - 50 smth
English/Lit - 55
Chinese - 46
Physics - 58
History - 86 !
Hhahahaha,
Kuan Hoe, hope your wrist gets better soooooon ! :D It'd better, cause I want you to play soccer with us. :D

阿公，我还是不能接受事实。我真的真的好想你。

Damn, haven't been posting for so long, sorry.
You all know the reason. (:
So, been rushing to my grandmother's place from school everyday since Tuesday.
Tuesday, got the news at 11smth, grandpa passed away at 7:24am.
After school, went straight there. Reached there, went up to change, then came down to see him, his body. After that, tried to hold back the tears, but. Overwhelmed me, yeahs. All the memories all came rushing back, & I cried buckets. Damn, I felt like fainting then. Finally stopped after a while. Went home quite late, but, still had to go school the next day.
Wednesday, don't want blog about what happened in school. Skipped training.
Stayed at grandmother's place for the night.
Thursday, took LRT with Nick, and took MRT to school. Reached school pretty early, then went for breakfast. Rest of the day I don't want to elaborate. After school, as usual go there. Reached home at around 1am. Slept 1:30 smth.
Friday, cross-country, sians. Had to wake up at like 5:30 -.- 4 hours sleep. Took cab to Bishan, met Brendan at his void deck, then walked to Bishan Park. Thought could wear jersey to run, but turned out cannot, luckily brought House PE Shirt. Cross-country people couldn't run competitive, cause of Mr Koh, so, I was practically assured of an individual medal. LOL. Sec 2s ran first instead of Sec 1s, idk why. Damn it luh, at the start was 2nd one lor. Then finished 5th. Wayne Yap and me during the race was like keep overtaking each other, damn weird luh. Its like suddenly got a spurt of energy from me, then he tired. Then will switch around one, :x In the end I finished in front of him. (;
After whole thing, cab-ed to J8, and ate KFC. Then went over to grandmother's place. Slept there, cause it was the last night. D
Saturday, last day. They had to do the ritual stuff all that. Then, they had to read some paper about his life, all that. What he did, how old was he, stuff like that. Tears started to fall, & by the time they reached the part about what he did to contribute to the world, how he fell sick, how he battled the sickness, didn't fear death, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Tears fell and fell and fell, without showing signs of stopping. I was shaking, and wiping my tears to no avail. Even the kids, who didn't understand everything, fell silent when we cried, and said, " They crying already." After that was lunch, nobody really had appetite, but I forced myself to eat, remembering what he said, that we shouldn't waste food, all. I really damn miss him . ): Remembering how he was so sick before he passed away, he couldn't even talk, I started crying, but told myself to stop.
After that was the cremation thing, cried until it was like rain falling from my eyes. Went back to grandmother's place. Had another meal, before going upstairs.
Slept there at night.
Today, had to go collect his remains. He's now resting in Mandai Columbarium.
Rest In Peace, Grandpa ! You'll be forever loved and missed. I love you ! You'll always live on in my heart, your smiling face, your voice.

I still can't accept the fact that you're gone,

Your voice still seems to be around me.

The memories of you, still so fresh,

The never-ending love of yours.

Its been a long time since I saw you smile, grandpa,

Its been a long time since I talked to you, grandpa.

Appear in my dreams, please.

I want to see you, I want to...

Post another day, perhaps. I'm going back to my grandmother's place to stay over later.

RICHIEEEEEE ! Hahahaha, fire burn him till so hotttt, cupid struck him. (:
Un-edited Richie. (: Hahahahaa, he's sort of cute yes? :D

Damn, first period bad news alrd. D:
11/20 for Lit. & Mrs Ling said she was disappointed with me, LOL. B.Chong , 19/20, zaikia.
Okay, went through, blahblahblah.
ACC, boring, no need say.
Recess, played a little bit soccer. Yeo Sun Peng, you're funny. (:
After that, IT. Kind of damned boring now, after filming's over.
HISTORY, WOO YEAHS MAN . 25/30 ! :D:D:D
Finally owned Brendan/Joshua in smth. :x Didn't mean to suan kay.
Hmms, last period maths, didn't get back marks though. D:

After school, cabbed to J8. Ate Macs, hmm.
Went to StreetSoccerCourt, played soccer ! Hahahaha, I scored like so many, with Jacob's assists, and my own creating chances. :D
Overall was damn fun laaa.
But, my feet got blister alrd. D:
Richieeeeeee, is funnnnnn. Got picture of him on top ! :D
After playing, went to Prime with Weisheng, Richie, & Brendan.
Kept teasing Brendan along the way LOL.
Reached there, bought drinks, food, blahblah. Sat down, talked, gave Weisheng many fake numbers before my real one.
Bryan Koh came, LOL.
Took 88 with Richie, Bryan, Brendan.
Disturbed Richieeeee ! LOL, say I better than XK all that. :x
Talked with Brendan , psp-ed tgt.
Reached home at 8 .
Gah, fuck luh, I want to go bowling on Thurs also cannot, damn it la.

Nevermind, byes. (: